the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Randomize