Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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