help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
