white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I just gargled with NyQuil
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
