I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Randomize
