So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
