Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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