I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
