yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
