Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
It's no shave November. This is our time.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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