Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
