I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize