Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
what day is it and did you see me today?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I AM VODKA MAN
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
