Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(505): View more from New Mexico

No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens

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(772): View more from Florida

I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.

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(407): View more from Florida

wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.

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(786): View more from Florida

I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.

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(330): View more from Ohio

I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.

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(317): View more from Indiana

Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.

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(601): View more from Mississippi

He? As in you personified your dick?

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(480): View more from Arizona

Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night

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