If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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