This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
