Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
