Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Randomize
