Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
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