The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
