Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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