your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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