Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
