Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Randomize
