Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
