from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
