Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
