1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
