Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
