I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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