i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
