I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
