One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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