I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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