i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Randomize
