school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
