The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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