we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
