the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
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