She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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