Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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