I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
