I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
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