is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
