bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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