it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize