Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
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