I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
