You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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