Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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