Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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