he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize