Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
