i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize