I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize