Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
