He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
