she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
