Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
