i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
His nipple licking is glorious
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