That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I think I won the penis lottery.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
