420 ftw
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
