im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Randomize
