Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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