I am in a vortex of obligation.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
