I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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