Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize