Will you blow on my dice?
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
