I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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