I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize