You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
