somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I can text with my tongue
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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