Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize