We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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