God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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