Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
