Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
My sheets look like a crime scene.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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