sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
